Introduction
Several of the aspects of God’s “backward”
wisdom that we have explored so far have touched on/led to the aspect
we want to consider tonight. This is the nexus of all of God’s
“backward” wisdom—Jesus’ answer to the
question that every person asks: “How can I find true
happiness?” Nothing is more “backward”/counter-intuitive
that Jesus’ answer to this question—.
Jesus had a
radically different answer. His most straightforward answer came
during his last meal with his disciples. Jesus knows that he is
about to be betrayed, forsaken, arrested, unjustly condemned, beaten
and killed. The room they are using for their last meal together has
no household slave to wash their feet. Jesus’ disciples are
consumed with which one of them is the greatest, so none of them is
about to admit he is lesser by assuming this role. Jesus dons the
garb of the household slave and washes their feet. After explaining
that his action is a picture of his way of life, he says 13:17
(read). “Blessed” (makarios) means “happy”
or “fulfilled.” “These things” refers to
Jesus’ action of washing their feet and his instruction that
this is an example for them to follow. If you serve others in love
as a way of life, you will be truly happy.
This was not the
first time Jesus tried to drive this point home to his disciples. He
also taught it through a paradox that is the most frequently quoted
of his paradoxes in the gospels. Read Matt. 16:25. This
paradox not only asserts that if you are willing to lose your life
you will save it (be truly happy). It also categorically rejects the
world’s wisdom by asserting that if you seek to save your life
(live for your own happiness) you are certain to fail at attaining
it. Let’s take a closer look at these two antithetical
prescriptions for on happiness . . .
Two antithetical prescriptions for happiness
Perspective: SELF-SAVING & SELF-GIVING prescriptions.
SELF-SAVING: “I
will be happy when I can get others to love me the right
way.”
SELF-GIVING: “I will be happy as I learn to love
others maturely.”
SELF-SAVING: “I
will be happy when I accumulate an abundance of goods and services
for my own self-enjoyment.”
SELF-GIVING: “I will be
happy the more I use my goods and services for the well-being of
others.”
SELF-SAVING: “I
will be happy when I get enough time for myself to do what I want to
do.”
SELF-GIVING: “I will be happy as I learn how to
use most of my time to serve other people.”
SELF-SAVING: “I
will be happy when I get circumstances going my way.”
SELF-GIVING:
“I will be happy as I love others regardless of my
circumstances.”
RESULTS: Jesus
promises that the SELF-SAVING life always results in emptiness for
everyone who pursues it, while he promises that the SELF-GIVING life
always results in true happiness for everyone who pursues it. Is
this true? Most of us should be able to affirm the truth of the
first promise—and many of us are able to affirm the second
promise.
SELF-SAVING:
Dissatisfaction. You may experience a temporary sense of happiness
when you get some of the above—but it is fleeting, you need
more the next to get the same lift, and it leads to long-term
emptiness.
SELF-GIVING: Increasing contentment with
what you have in the above areas—because you know that’s
not what makes your life full and meaningful anyway. You often
experience short-term excitement from giving to others—and
definitely experience a long-term deepening sense of satisfaction
that you have helped others.
SELF-SAVING:
Relational failure. When people try to build a relationship based on
expecting the other person to love them the right way, relational
problems are bound to follow: usually either breaking the
relationship off to find someone else who loves you better, or
negotiated selfishness and parallel lives.
SELF-GIVING: Relational
success. When even one person becomes committed to self-giving, it
radically changes the dynamics. And when both people focus on how to
give/serve (Rom. 12:10b) rather than on expecting/demanding, the
relationship ripens into something that, while not trouble-free,
becomes more and more stable and enjoyable as the years go by.
SELF-SAVING:
Emotional problems. Because your happiness depends on things you
can’t control, this leads to a lot of anxiety about losing the
things you have, lots of effort to control people and circumstances
to get a sense of security, frustration and anger and bitterness when
people disappoint you or block you from the things you want,
increasingly chronic depression, etc.. And this gets worse as people
get older.
SELF-GIVING: Growing emotional health. Because we are
fallen, none of us is ever completely free from emotional problems.
But we do see people who truly sell out to this get substantially
free from anxiety and control neuroses and bitterness and
depression—progressively delivered from unhealthy
self-centeredness to wholesome other-centeredness. People who have
stayed stuck—even in spite of years of therapy—experience
substantial emotional healing.
Read Isa. 58:9,10 as a picture of the
self-giving life and its results. When you make happiness your goal, it eludes you. But
when you turn away from this and make serving others your goal,
happiness finds you.
The self-giving life requires access to God’s
love
But how can this be? It is counter-intuitive and
seems crazy for one simple reason: Who is going to take care of me?
What’s going to prevent me from being used up? That’s a
fair question, and this is why the self-giving way of life is crazy
unless the God of the Bible exists—a personal God who
loves you and who will take care of you and who can indwell you as an
inexhaustible source of love to give to others.
See what Jesus
“knew” that enabled him to wash his disciples’ feet
(Jn. 13:3,4). He knew that he was secure in his Father’s
love (destiny; ultimate authority), and on this basis he could focus
on serving his disciples even when he was in great need himself. So
it is with us—and this is why Jesus called the disciples to
love one another “as I have loved you” (13:34). This
means not only that he set an example for them, but that they could
depend on his ongoing love for them. Through our relationship with
Jesus, we can know that our destiny is secure (Rom. 8:1), that
God’s sovereign and loving hand is on all of our circumstances
(Rom. 8:28), and that nothing can separate us from his love
(Rom. 8:37-39).
Read
1 Jn. 4:16-19. We are able to love others because God
first loved us. As we come to understand and choose to believe the
love that God has for us, we are perfected in loving others.
Even Matt. 16:25
presumes a love relationship with Jesus (“for me”).
So this is God’s wisdom—only the
self-giving life brings true happiness, but you can live the
self-giving life only when you have personal access to God’s
love. And there is only one way to gain this access—through
receiving Jesus Christ. This is what Jesus claims in this wonderful
invitation (read Jn. 7:37,38). Have you made the decision to
receive God’s love through Jesus Christ?
The truly happy lifestyle revolves around ongoing two
priorities
If you have received Christ, you are now indwelt
by God’s love and have the foundation for a truly happy life.
But it is by no means automatic—and the proof of this is that
many true Christians are miserable! The key is to build a
lifestyle—and this lifestyle revolves around ongoing two
priorities . . .
You have to
continue to receive God’s love. A young child is the
object of his parents’ love, but he must choose to continually
receive their love in order to develop. In the same way, Christians
are the object of God’s love and God is always willing to pour
his love into our hearts, but we must choose to receive his love day
by day instead of returning to the self-saving prescription. This is
why Jesus reminds his disciples to “abide in my love”
(Jn. 15:9). This is why Jude reminds his believing readers to
“keep yourselves in the love of God” (Jude 1:21).
What are some ways that we can do this? Answers include:
Learn about the
extent of God’s love through the Bible (especially the New
Testament), and frequently reflect on this, asking God to open your
eyes to this and thanking him as he does so. This serves as an
anchor when feelings and circumstances suggest that you are on your
own.
Remember and
treasure your own personal history of God’s love toward
you—ways that he has answered prayer, fulfilled his promises,
etc.
Draw near to God
through the blood of Christ when you are convicted of sin (Heb. 9:14;
10:19-22). Instead of rationalizing, minimizing, blame-shifting,
self-punishing—draw near and agree with God about your sin,
thank him for his forgiveness and unshakeable love, ask him to
cleanse your conscience and fill you again to walk with and serve
him.
Allow God to love
you through his people. This takes various forms (forgiveness;
encouragement; correction)—but if you get involved with a
smaller group of Christians who are serious about this way of life
and open up, God will work through them to strengthen you in his
love.
But there is
another key that operates side-by-side with continuing to receive
God’s love—and that is by continuing to give his love
away to others. There is a dynamic relationship here. On the one hand, the more you understand and trust that God
loves you and will take care of you, the more motivated you will be
to focus on giving to others. On the other hand, the more you are
willing to step out in faith to serve others, the more you will
experience God’s love caring for you and filling you up. This
is why John says that are perfected in love not only by knowing and
believing the love that God has for us, but also by actually choosing
to love others (1 Jn. 4:12).
In other words, after you
receive Christ you can’t wait until you completely understand
and feel totally filled with God’s love for you before you
start loving others. God shows you his love—and then he
challenges you to step out in faith to love others even and
especially when you don’t feel God’s love, feel like you
have nothing to give, etc. What are some ways
we can do this? Answers include:
Daily/situationally
ask God for opportunities to give his love to others and the eyes to
see those opportunities—especially with non-Christians at work,
in your neighborhood, etc.
As you interact
with other Christians in your home group, increasingly look for ways
that you can give to them. Devote more and more of your thought time
and conversation time with other Christians to how others are doing,
how you can help them, etc. Maturity means that we habitually give
more than we receive to our brothers and sisters.
Equip yourself to
be a more effective giver: learning the Word, imitating other mature
workers, developing younger Christians, discovering and developing
your spiritual gifts, etc.
Become financially generous.
Conclusion
You have to
decide to sell out to this way of life if you want to reap the
benefit! If you just dabble in giving short-term and insist on
an immediate return, you’ll quit before long. You have to
decide “I am going to bank my life on this proposition”—and
that stick with it. I make no claim to live this way perfectly—but
I have sold out to it and I do practice it as a way of life. And I
can tell you that I am a blessed man because of it!
Copyright 2003 Gary DeLashmutt